They ALL float down here. When you’re down here with us, you’ll float too!

So… I came to the conclusion that I don’t type the way I actually talk. I feel my writing style makes my blog boring and impersonal. Time to fix this. Hopefully it’ll give you a better insight into Kirsty/ Crystoth/ The Modified Mermaid.

Expect to see, what I hope to be, positive changes.

I’ve not really been up to much this week. I’m actually pretty ashamed of myself and next week will be better. I’m going to jump right in to the portraits for my portfolio (thanks to everyone who’s letting me use their images) and, more importantly, I am going to work my arse off at getting a new job. My current working situation is just not good enough.

What I have been doing this week is a bit of crochet. I seem to be a fast learner and I’m well on my way of making myself a purple, slouchy beanie. It’s not great, it’s no where near perfect but I’m new to this. I think I’m doing quite well for a beginner. I’ve also been feeling sorry for myself thanks to a painful wisdom tooth. Next week I’m determined to be back on track.

Also… I’ve got my silly back! I became very uptight about 6 years ago but now it’s almost as if I’ve regressed. For the better though! I feel much lighter and buoyant. It’s taken me 18 months of hard work to get the feeling back I’d lost for so long but now I’ve done it and I can’t stop smiling.

I am INCREDIBLY excited about this coming week. I’ll give you all a full low-down sometime the following week.

These shells, the music box and the reflecting glass. Well, if not from dry land, then where? Where?

Green Unicorn

A few more productive days! I’m getting good at this.

Friday was my first signing on date which was relatively painless really. It’s also comforting to know that I can get that little bit of help to keep me in Brighton. Hopefully it isn’t long before my first payment comes through.

Saturday I went in to town with my good friend, James. We went for food, got rained on, snooped around Snooper’s Paradise, visited the flea market and drank hot chocolate. I also decided to treat myself to a little present (my first one in months): I bought myself a pair of black and red knitted slipper boots. First item in the last 2 or 3 years that I bought purely for comfort reasons, that is a very weird concept for me.

Also, for the last few days, I have been working on a drawing for Anthony. 4am one morning and I decided to draw him a green unicorn as it made perfect sense at the time! I’m pleased with how it turned out and it’s actually pushed me to get drawing again. I needed that.

I also really want the opportunity to draw human portraits, in Photoshop, working from photographs to add to my portfolio. If anyone would like to be my victim please let me know as it would help me so much. I can work from any picture you wish and you’ll get free copies of the image to keep (.jpg/ .psd or any file type you request with the exception of the .psd file). Requests for animal portraits are also welcomed. Please e-mail me at crystoth(at)gmail.com.

Wandering over the hills unseen, Or is it a dream?

So yesterday was a rather successful day!

First thing I had to go to the Job Centre to sign on for Job Seekers Allowance. It was all pretty painless really. Ideally I want a full time job (or a part time job to work alongside my current part time job) but my Job Seekers Allowance and my current part time job will just about cover my rent and food. It’s amazing how easy it has become to not buy unnecessary things but I do miss being able to modify my body. Hopefully money will pick up soon and I can continue with my mermaid project. In the mean time I can just work on getting everything designed.

I explained to my landlord that the crematorium weren’t able to collect Thlayli so he offered to drive me there. I seriously cannot express how grateful I am for his help! When I got there the guy who was there to greet up was really friendly and helpful. He went through everything with me, took down a few details and then asked me if I wanted an urn as well but decided not to. I’m going to find something I really like to put him in, I found an urn on line that I think I’d like to use. Either that or I’ll see if I can find something in a local shop that I like. Then it was time to leave Thlayli there, he asked if I wanted a bit of time with him but I’d already said my goodbyes so I declined. They don’t know when they’ll be able to cremate him as the snow is causing some hold-ups but they’ll call me as soon as I can collect him. I can’t wait to have him back but at least I know he’s somewhere that they know what they’re doing.

Following the river of death downstream? Oh, is it a dream?

Well it seems that I can’t have Thlayli cremated because, due to the snow, they aren’t able to collect him or deliver his ashes to me and there’s no one to give me a lift there. I also completely failed at finding an urn yesterday when I went shopping. So, still, I have his body in my room and I just can’t put him to rest. I want that more than anything. He deserves dignity, not sitting around in my room waiting for a conclusion. For months he gave me reason to get up in the morning, he gave me cuddles when I was being shouted at and I can safely say that he gave me a reason to carry on all those months ago. He brought me so much happiness and I can’t even do this one thing for him. Burying him in Kent is an option (albeit a desperate, last resort of an option) but this will mean waiting until the weekend before I can take him and then it would mean having him on my lap for the two hour train journey. How on earth am I supposed to keep his body until the weekend?? That’s VERY far removed from the dignity he deserves.

The Black Rabbit serves Lord Frith, but he does no more than his appointed task

Jury Service was nothing to worry about it seems, for once I am actually thankful for the snow and ice! I made my way on Monday 21st December to the crown court. I made my way through security, went to the Jurors’ waiting room, handed in my necessary paperwork and was shown around the courtroom. There they went though everything with us (our duties, what to expect and even about a free food allowance) and after that we all had to go back to the waiting room to be called up for a case. We waited. 3 hours later still nobody had been called for a case. Then we were told that due to the weather conditions cases had been postponed. We were to go home and if we received a phone call by 4pm the next day we were to come back to court to go on cases. If we didn’t receive a phone call then our Jury Service was over and we didn’t need to go back to court. I left (but not before taking advantage of my one free meal) and did not receive a phone call. That was a weight off my mind.

Christmas 2009

Christmas in Kent was exactly what I wanted it to be: a quiet homely affair with my Mum, Dad and Nan. The food was great and the company was even more so. It was great to see my family for Christmas Day! I also got excellent presents and exactly what I wanted! I got money, sweets, socks and Cath Kidston bath stuff. Perfect! On Boxing day I saw my brother, his fiancée, my niece and my nephew.

New Year was the first year in a long time that I made a night of New Year. I don’t really celebrate it as my New Year starts in Spring with the blossom, spring flowers and baby rabbits. This year I spent the evening with Martin and a few others. I had a great evening and we came to the conclusion that 2010 is the year where everything is going to come in to place; a year in which to succeed.

R.I.P

Thlayli had a seizure and died Saturday morning (9th January 2010). I’m terribly sad beyond words and I’m going to miss him very much. He saw me through some of the toughest and lowest points in my life, for that I will forever be grateful to him. I’m just thankful I was able to sit with him during his last moments. I’ve decided that I’m going to have him cremated (as he was very special to me and I don’t have anywhere in Brighton to bury him) and as money is very tight at the moment my Mum and Dad have offered to lend me the money, I appreciate that so much. Later on today I’m going in to town to visit a pet crematorium and to see if I can find something in my favourite shop to use as an urn. This sad time has been made so much more bearable due to the messages, phone calls, hugs and super hang out times. So a big thanks to everyone for that!

In all my years of judging, I have never heard before, Of someone more deserving, The full penalty of law

It’s no secret that I don’t want to do Jury Service. Not because I of what it is but because it couldn’t come at a worse possible time. It could set me back a couple of months, it’s going to cause me serious money problems (hopefully only temporary problems though), it means two weeks away from my rabbit and it means two weeks away the city I love so much and its people.

Time to look on the bright side.

I’m going to use my time in Kent to: sell the stuff that I don’t intend on bringing to Brighton (hopefully helping my money problems a bit), spend my evenings working on my UCAS application, sort out eBay/paypal/etsy accounts to try and make a bit of extra money, enjoy the company of my family and get lots of reading and knitting done.

I have also concluded that Baroque makes everything better.

Resting our head on the sea bed

2 Point Suspension

Another month has passed and it truly has been a wonderful one. I’ve now moved out of Martin’s place and have been renting a room for a whole month now. I love where I am. In a perfect world I would be closer to the sea but I’m only a short walk from there now and a short walk from the city centre. So… almost the perfect location! The important thing is that I’m now officially a Brighton resident and have been for a few weeks now.

Job hunting is still causing me some problems but, for now, I do have a part time job with an online jewellery shop. All I need now is for that job to offer me more hours or to find another part time job to run alongside it. Then I’ll be set for the next few weeks (or maybe longer).

I also collected Thlayli from my parents’ house so now he is officially a Brighton resident too. I am so happy that he could move in with me, I really don’t know how I would cope having to leave him behind. I know he would be well looked after but he’s a very special rabbit to me. I still need to collect the rest of my possessions and try to get my hands on a very cheap bookcase but I’m already feeling very settled here.

Halloween weekend was amazing! My friend held a suspension/art event on the Saturday and I suspended for the very first time, it was a 2pt suicide. It was one of the most relaxing experiences of my life. Having the hooks themselves put in was uncomfortable at the most. The weirdest part for me was when my last toe came off of the ground, my brain took a few seconds to try and understand how my body didn’t need my feet to support it. Once I was off the ground I really relaxed into it. It felt like I was floating in water but still being able to breathe, so no wonder I found it so relaxing! I was off the ground for just over 12 minutes before I asked to come down. My back was very stiff during the after party and I needed a little bit of help getting dressed but other than that I had no problems. I will go in to more details when I get round to writing a full experience on it.

The after party was great fun thanks to some absolutely fantastic company! Some of my closest friends were there and I also had the opportunity to make new friends who I have come to adore.

Last week the lovely Emma came back down to Brighton (all the way from Scotland) and we checked out Brighton University. Emma is thinking of moving down here and, quite frankly, I would like nothing more. We got to hang out for the best part of the whole week and it took me a couple of days to fully recover! Messy times.

October and November have been wonderful months to me. I have been so busy getting my life on track and spending quality time with close friends and some super new friends. Friendships that I hope will grow.

Happy we’ll be beyond the sea and never again I’ll go sailin’

It’s been a month since my last entry so I suppose it’s time for an update.

Most of my time has been filled with home hunting and working.

The very good news is that I have now found a place to live and I move in the early part of next week! From what I’ve gathered so far I’ll be living in an ideal location with some great people. Not only that but Thlayli can come and live there too! I can hrdly contain my excitement and have already started buying things for my new room.

It’s time for me to go job hunting again, selling life insurance really isn’t for me. I find it impossible to sell a product that I honestly don’t believe in. This week I will be hassling my job angency to see what there is to offer. Luckily for me I have enough money to keep me going for the next couple of months so that if I didn’t find something better for a while it’s not the end of the world.

Now it is only a few days until Halloween and the Rites event. I am so incredibly excited but I am absolutely fretting about what to wear! My dress arrived today but I’m not even sure if I like it. I may have to think again.

In other news! I have had a (very much needed) haircut. It really is something special!

Now I’ve been happy lately thinking about the good things to come, And I believe it could be something good has begun

For the past week I have been staying with the wonderful Martin in Brighton. My time there was spent walking the streets with a wad of CVs and applying for any job that I’m qualified for. I walked so much that I have a large blister on the ball of my foot! It was completely worth it as I managed to get a lot of interest from agencies who passed on my details to several employers (by the end of the week my phone didn’t seem to stop ringing). Friday I had an interview at 4pm and after a short amount of time there they offered me the job on the spot. I took it and I start my training on Monday! Exciting beyond words! The job isn’t exactly what I would like to be doing but it is along the right line and it’s my ticket to the city I love (and the people there that I love dearly).

Now comes the next stage: finding a flat! Martin is very generously going to let me stay with him for this week and, hopefully, by the weekend I will have my very own flat sorted. I have so much to do and will be exceptionally busy for the next week or too but the excitement of it all is keeping me going. Every moment of it is going to be worth it when I walk through the front door of my own flat in the city that I already see as home. It will be a beautiful moment.

This is really happening! It hasn’t quite sunk in yet!

Leaves are fallin’ all around, time I was on my way

Today I finally received my P45 and on Tuesday I receive my redundancy pay. Two less things for me to bitch about I suppose! Haha.

The most frustrating thing is that with the money I’ve been religiously saving recently I have enough money for a flat deposit AND two months rent. I just don’t have the added security of having a job for when that money is spent. I’m so close but still so far.

Job hunting is still pretty much the same as ever. I did actually hear back from someone today about a Telesales job but, quite honestly, I think I fluffed it. At least now I feel like my CV whoring is finally getting me somewhere.

I still can’t stand the cowards and time-wasters but I guess that’s something none of us are ever free of.

My greatly reduced internet time seems to be paying off! I’ve spent a fair amount of today online for job hunting purposes but yesterday I managed to get quite a bit done! I filled a black sack with crap I don’t want anymore (more bags to soon follow), I fixed a few items of clothing that have had buttons missing and holes for months (yep I sew, surprised?), I’ve been sourcing materials for my Bizarre Ball costume and have been keeping my room beautifully tidy.

Tonight I’m scrapbooking. Life with no TV and limited internet is brilliant. Seriously.